jankyass:

beauty sleep is actually just a lie we invented to keep the ugly people asleep and away from us longer

(via cryingvagina)

conversationparade:

[step 1] open your mouth as wide as possible. make sure to stick out your tongue as far as you can, too, since kisses are like, 90% that thing

[step 2] find someone to kiss. you will know they want to kiss because their tongue will also be extended at full length

[step 3] move in for the kill

(via dickfaerie)

chaystar:

how about the international justice league of super acquaintances

(Source: senor-cactuar, via laughcentre)

drbippy:

Tim Burton should just make a movie called ‘Johnny Depp’.

plot twist: Johnny Depp is played by Helena Bonham Carter

(Source: funeralfrost, via laughcentre)